Lessons Learnt

  • Book train tickets twelve weeks in advance to get the most significant savings.
  • When booking train tickets, always book a space for a bike.
  • Unless you're in a rush, training isn't necessary, except …
  • Training with loaded panniers is a must.
  • Lots of small, light items add up to a lot of weight.
  • Bike carriages on trains have a bicycle symbol on, or near, the carriage door.
  • On crowded train carriages, store your bike facing the door for an easier exit.
  • A professional cyclist could cycle from Inverness to Wick in less time than it takes by train.
  • Unlike Land's End, there's no official photographer at John O'Groats.
  • It's dark for only four and a half hours at John O'Groats in mid-July.
  • Alexander Bain invented the electric clock.
  • The shortest street in the world is in Wick.
  • Flynets don't work if you leave them opened.
  • The A99/A9 from John O'Groats to Inverness is 40 miles shorter than National Cycle Route 1 and is mostly safe for cycling.
  • Mobile internet north of Helmsdale is sparse at best.
  • You'll feel safer wearing some hi-vis clothing.
  • You will get lost at times.
  • In 1727, Janet Horne was the last witch legally executed in Britain.
  • You'll pass lots of end-to-enders going the other way.
  • Oddly enough, you'll know they're end-to-enders.
  • The Cromarty Ferry timetable is subject to tides.
  • There are no monsters in Loch Ness.
  • Hotels and guesthouses don't have vacancies in tourist hotspots in the summer.
  • Horizontal rain is a real phenomenon.
  • Some parts of National Cycle Route 78 aren't suitable for bikes.
  • Red squirrels aren't yet extinct.
  • Taking the A82 from Inverness to Fort Augustus avoids a killer climb on National Cycle Route 78.
  • The wind blows from all directions.
  • A howling gale is known as "a wee breeze" in Scotland.
  • Your hands will get cold, even in the summer.
  • Long slow climbs grind you down as much as short steep ones.
  • Canvas shoes aren't waterproof.
  • If camping in Scotland, midge repellent is essential.
  • After a few days, 50+ miles per day is easy, even for a novice.
  • Not all motorists are cycle friendly.
  • Your bum won't be sore the whole way — just most of it.
  • Bike locks seize up in the rain.
  • Camping is for Scouts.
  • Camping gear doubles the load.
  • Easy or hard, every day has its challenges.
  • Not all sports clothing outlets have heard of Gore-Tex.
  • Keep waterproofs handy for speedy access.
  • Expensive waterproofs still get wet inside when cycling.
  • It can rain every day for a month, even in summer.
  • Weathertite is a breathable waterproof fabric like Gore-Tex.
  • Good walking shoes will get you up hills better than cleats.
  • Morrison's in Kendal doesn't sell Kendal Mint Cake.
  • You'll remember the names of places you've never known before.
  • The canals of England are a joy.
  • A fry-up for breakfast will keep you going all day.
  • You won't lose weight eating fry-ups.
  • You'll get at least one puncture.
  • There are few if any, public toilets in the countryside.
  • Brakes will need maintaining along the way.
  • A tontine is an old form of investment.
  • Some parts of National Cycle Route 45 aren't suitable for bikes.
  • Photographing GCHQ is verboten.
  • Puncture slime doesn't work.
  • Don't compromise on brakes — pay the money and get discs.
  • You may need to clean and lubricate the gears now and then.
  • Don't put too much weight in a handlebar bag (it drags the bars round).
  • British summers aren't one of the seasons in a three-season tent.
  • British summers aren't one of the seasons in a three-season sleeping bag.
  • When camping, it can be a long way to the toilet block in the dark.
  • A plastic pee bag will save the trouble of finding the toilet in the dark.
  • A microfibre camping towel will dry quickly under a hand drier.
  • The hills of Devon & Cornwall are every bit as tough as rumoured.
  • The hedgerows of Devon & Cornwall are as tall as the hills are steep.
  • Robin Hanbury-Tenison and his wife, Louella, have impressive CVs.
  • Take lots of pictures.
  • Better still, buy a helmet cam and video the whole trip.
  • Brooks saddles are expensive.
  • I already knew this, but Land's End is a better place to finish than John O'Groats.
  • And finally, you'll get a big lump in your throat and well up as you cross the finish line.